Dear Friends -
I have many things to say about our politics, our technology, and whatever it is that’s encroaching… but I am writing you today on a different topic entirely: anxiety.
I happen to live with an extremely anxious person: my wife, Morra. Although she is not an extrovert, she is nevertheless quite open about it — in many ways she makes a living talking about it. Her podcast, The Anxious Achiever presented by LinkedIn, speaks to leaders about managing that quiet menace. It is a top podcast in the business category (and just got nominated for a top award!). I’m writing you today to ask you to pre-order her new book from Harvard Business Review Press: The Anxious Achiever.
The book actually comes out April 11, many booksellers decide how many copies to order based on pre-orders four months out. Please pre-order her book before this Sunday. We need the Amazon Algorithm Juice to sell some books, and help some people with their anxiety. If you’re not into Amazon, great! Neither am I - here’s a list of non-Amazon places you can order it. But Amazon is the behemoth in the space, so for crassly commercial reasons (and not-so-commercial reasons like marital harmony), please consider pre-ordering from Amazon.
I am occasionally anxious, but it’s not a part of my every day the way it is for Morra. For her, it’s part of the emotional landscape of everything — of her entire life. Even after living with Morra all these years (married 16 years!) I am just beginning to understand her anxiety – mostly through the brave and articulate way she talks about it in her writing and on her podcast. Here are a few things I’ve learned:
Anxiety just is. Not good or bad.
Anxiety is a natural part of leadership, and leaders who recognize and channel their anxiety are more effective — and more successful — leaders.
Good leaders understand their mental health and take care of it.
That’s what Morra’s book is about — and it’s great. Please do Pre-order it now.
Some of you — ahem, I know who — are thinking, “I’ve never been anxious in my life, I don’t need this book!” But I guarantee you that someone in your life, someone you are close with, is very anxious. Those of us who don’t dwell in anxiety can’t easily recognize it in others. Sit a minute and think about your friends and colleagues. Does one of them have a behavior that baffles you? Could it be an expression of anxiety? You might buy this book for that person… or buy it for yourself so you better understand them.
Shortly after reading Morra’s book, I was dealing with someone on a regular basis who I found very controlling. Morra’s book helped me recognize that their instinct to control might be driven by anxiety. That insight helped me a build a much better relationship with this person, and we were able to work together with a lot more success.
Buy Morra’s book not just for your own mental health — but as an act of love for someone in your life who struggles every day. Get it for yourself, get it for them, get it for a friend, or get it for someone you don’t even know. Buy it as a way to show your appreciation for those who live with chronic anxiety — and to help those around them understand them better. Pre-order the book before Sunday.
Thank you. More to come on my more normal beat. lotsa love, nicco
PS. Here’s Morra describing the book:
Every day, I work with my most loyal companion and my worst enemy. My Anxiety. My anxiety propels me forward but it’s painful and sometimes all-consuming.
I know there are so many just like me—ambitious, career-focused people who succeed while struggling with their mental health. I call us Anxious Achievers.
Anxious achievers are rarely still, in body or in mind. We are goal-oriented, future-oriented, and propelled by forces that give a great weight to decisions made along the way. We are prized team members because we go the extra mile as a matter of course, and nothing less than the best will do. We create extraordinary outcomes because we are driven to always excel and succeed at any challenge we set ourselves and we never let up for a moment.
But we pay a price. Anxiety takes a toll on our mental health, our relationships, our joy.
But here’s the thing: Anxiety is an emotion. It is not an external threat over which you have no control, but an internal state you can learn to manage and learn from. You can build a life that isn’t ruled by your anxiety. And in fact, you can even learn to rely on your anxiety as your loyal partner…to become the best leader you can be.
Here is the beauty of the anxious achiever: If we can align our drive with a larger purpose, we can move mountains. If we can manage our anxiety and lessen the personal toll, we can approach our work with incredible energy and ingenuity. We can be the colleagues people count on. We can be the leaders people want to work for. We can be the visionaries who create bold change.
I want to invite you to join me in the anxious achiever community as we work together to harness the best of our anxiety, obtain better mental health, and most important, find joy and space for creativity, innovation, and great work.